This perfectly horrifying Twitter bot combines erotica and video games

The problem with Twitter, people always say, is that it’s too good. Everything on Twitter is just too wonderful. If only someone could somehow make Twitter horrifying enough that you instinctually threw your phone across the room upon loading the app, we could get our lives back. Friends, consider this problem solved. Game designer Liz England has created @vg_erotica, a Twitter bot which combines romance novel excerpts with video game references, and every time it tweets I hear myself cry “Oh no!” aloud. It is beautiful in its dreadfulness. Workplace warning: this post contains awful sexiness.

The bot combines snippets of Sarah MacLean novels with video game memes and references, turning sexy into dank. My skin crawls yet I laugh. If you want to see how such a monster came into being, check out England’s Twitter thread of progress.

I think the worst part is, I have a nagging half-memory that I might once have said something somewhat like this to an actual living person in the nip. Why.

I mean,

it’s

just

not

right.

Though even a stopped clock is right twice a day.

“Many bots combine two things in order to create something bigger and better through the juxtaposition,” noted George Buckenham, my pal who runs the bot-making platform that this is built upon. “This bot combines two things to make something much worse.”

I heartily agree with that recommendation. I’m experiencing that same feeling our Brendy has with the horrible bag of meaty tendrils in Carrion, of being enamoured with how perfectly terrible something is.

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